Me and Diane


Here’s how it would go between me and Diane Sawyer: I take her out and buy her a couple of glasses of wine, then I switch her over to shots, then back to the studio to listen to some new jams, and then some deep eye contact as I move closer, By now her eyes are all wet and she’s feeling relaxed, tipsy, and amorous. Then the clothes come off for some first class boning. Then the next day she makes me breakfast and I realize how old she looks and I feel like a real shitheel. Then she leaves and I try to forget about the whole thing. That’s how it would go between me and Diane Sawyer. I am sorry for this post, honestly.

-Mickey Melchiondo
5th Grade

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